One Insight
The most healing, gentle, and loving when we completely lose control over an external event is to attend to our feelings first.
Similar to a child who cries or feels afraid of the dark, the optimal approach is not to dismiss her concerns with phrases like “there’s nothing to worry about,” or to encourage positive thinking, or to demand her to be calm. The most effective response is to acknowledge her feelings and be present with her, perhaps offering a loving and calming hug.
For a child, sometimes that is enough to help her return to her happy self.
As adults, we can think much more clearly when we manage to regulate our nervous system. Because in moments of emotional discomfort, our minds often engage in a vicious cycle of creating stories to make sense of what we feel. This often distracts us from fully experiencing our emotions and being present for ourselves.
After attending to our feelings and regulating our nervous system, we can explore the potential gift or invitation in the situation. When triggered by a situation or someone, a wealth of data becomes available to us, as this is when our unconscious surfaces. This means there is much wisdom that can be gained if we are willing to ask, What is the gift and invitation in this? What can I learn about myself through the way I responded? What is behind my feelings? When we are open and honest with ourselves, our innate wisdom speaks clearly and will guide us in the right direction.
One Quote from My Book
“Receiving gifts that come from our challenges and discomfort requires an open heart—a practice I call “Radical Receptivity.”. . Radical Receptivity allows us to observe and explore how our experiences touch, change, and broaden our sense of self. It enables us to be attentive to our inner terrain, illuminating what is true and real to us in each moment. Through this practice, we form a more holistic understanding of our internal world and open the way for our dormant, subtle faculties to provide us with valuable wisdom and clarity to navigate our lives.”
Christine Samuel, The Heart Space: Living with Grace and Ease in an Era of Uncertainty
One Question to Ponder
How can we deepen our self-awareness by reflecting on our responses to triggering situations, discovering valuable lessons about ourselves, and understanding the root causes behind our emotional reactions?